autumn blues

The weather seems to be weird these days. On the one day it’s sunny and warm and on the next day it’s just depressingly cold and rainy. Today is the rainy one… I am sitting in front of a window at a café. I should do some work stuff, writing a draft, but i can’t help it. The gray sky is floating my mind. Melancholic music from a playlist supports that and my thoughts sprout where the grayness was. Do you have sometimes these thoughts, that all and everything around you isn’t real? Like my Surrounding is just a Filmset. All the people are extras and I have the main role but can’t feel the character. I try to imitate others to fit the role but it doesn’t. I try to satisfy but never feel good enough. I can never be this person. I am someone else… ain’t I? I don’t know…
Ok. i have to work. Reality… come on… fix these thoughts…

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